So your boyfriend has turned off his phone and told you to stop smothering him. Ouch! It’s time to get a grip and save your relationship before you’re back with all the other single ladies.
Here are some tips from a former commitment phobic guy who’s finally in a long term relationship. Want to know how my live in girlfriend got me to settle down?
*Hint* Not by insisting we slow dance every night and pee with the door open.
Read on and learn how to cling to your dignity, not your boyfriend.
As a guy with a sensitive job (social worker), I’ve often attracted women who think this means that I’m going to be their emotional tampons and will always be there when they want to talk. Truth is, nothing is more of a turn off then to get smothered early on in a relationship. If you don’t want to back out there with all the other single ladies, take a couple tips from me.
Tip number one: If you are always talking, you’re not going to have anything to say. No, this is not some ancient proverb, it’s just common sense. When you spend the day texting every innate detail about what type of sandwich you had for lunch, you’re not going to have much to say to your boyfriend when you see each other face to face.
With text messaging, keep it flirty but short, don’t have conversations that go on for more than three texts. Also let him start the conversation at least three out of every four times.
Tip number two: Keep a little mystery. No, I’m not your grandmother and I know everyone says that, but it’s for a reason. One of the things I love most about my girlfriend is that even after three years of living together, I’m still finding out new things about her.
I’m not talking about keeping something important secret, like being divorced but I never knew my girlfriend knew how to rock climb before we went to an indoor climbing facility this weekend. She totally kicked my ass and I found out she had been an avid climber when she was a teen.
When a girl lets her talents be discovered, it’s not only hot, it also shows humility.
Tip number three: Guy’s love the thrill of the chase, when they’re chasing. There is something so appealing about a girl who is a bit busy. When a woman has her own life, there’s less pressure on me to be her “everything”. I would much rather have to call her a few times in order to set up a dinner date, than getting a barrage of phone calls from her to make sure her dress matches my sweater for our movie night.
Having a life outside of him mean that you’ll have more to talk to about when you’re together. As an added bonus of having your own life is that if dating this guy doesn’t work out, it really isn’t the end of the world.
So to sum things up, in order to not smother your significant other, text less, keep a little mystery and get a life.
